Week 4, Days 1 & 2

Today was one of the best days I’ve had since I hurt my arm last week. Waking up, I had a peace and a joy about the day that I didn’t understand in the moment. I got dressed and made my way to the picnic tables for devotional time. It was the first day this week that I was the first one in my group to be outside, so I got to grab one of my iced coffees out of the fridge and a bagel before the rest of my group arrived for devotions.

As I sat down, one of the directors came up and asked me to meet with him around 11 a.m. to revisit my arm incident. I was excited to finally have this meeting scheduled so I could get an answer about what the rest of my summer was going to look like. I agreed with a sigh of relief and moved on to devotional time with my group.

We read John 7:14-44, a key passage of Scripture for us as believers. For context, this picks up where we left off at the end of week three — right in the middle of the Feast of Tabernacles.

For those who may not know, the Feast of Tabernacles is an event that commemorates how God provided for the Israelites on their way to the Promised Land after rescuing them from slavery in Egypt. That story goes beyond the scope of this post, but I’ll be happy to unpack it in a future one.

In this passage, Jesus is teaching in the middle of the festival, and as usual, the crowd isn’t grasping the message He’s trying to share. First, people are questioning the authority He’s teaching under. Second, Jesus is explaining that He is the true source of everything we could need or want. Both are huge topics that spoke to me in that moment — and are still speaking to me today.

The people questioned Jesus’s authority because He hadn’t undergone any formal training to teach by their standards. His response is something we as Christians understand today, but His audience at the time did not, and they took offense to it.

Jesus explains that His teaching comes from God Himself, not from Jesus alone. Most of the religious teachers took offense because, unlike us, they didn’t see Jesus as God the Son. It really made me think about how much I don’t believe the things God has told me. God is incapable of lying, yet there are things in my life I haven’t surrendered to Him and trusted Him with. From that day on, I began that process, and I’m still working on surrender today. In that moment, I gave Him my desire for a summer job. I chose to be okay with not working for the rest of the summer, because I knew He would still bless me and show me things throughout it. I even wrote in my journal that I needed to be okay with not working. I need to stop comparing my walk to everyone else’s. I still struggle with this, but I’m learning to recognize that God has a specific calling on my life, and even though I don’t know what that is, I can trust that He has everything covered — all I have to do is steward what He places in front of me and let Him take care of the rest.

Second, this passage leads into the famous moment where Jesus says He will give anyone a drink so that they will never be thirsty again. Here, Jesus is speaking about being spiritually fed, though I’d argue it applies to everything in life. I believe that once your spirit and soul are fed, you’ll have joy no matter what you’re going through — you’ll have the peace that surpasses all understanding, and you’ll be wiser and able to make clearer decisions because you’re at peace.

I’ll be honest, this is something I continue to work on. I find myself looking for and wanting things beyond what He’s set in front of me. As humans, it’s so easy for our minds to wander and want things far beyond what’s actually in front of us. I’m not saying you should be hard on yourself when you notice this in yourself — God knows we’re easily distracted, and He’s patient with us, correcting us in the gentlest way possible.

After devotions, I was so blown away that I had to get alone and process everything I’d just learned. I had two hours before my meeting with the director, so I decided to get breakfast and visit my friends at the Starbucks and the local grocery store. As I rode along in my chair, I listened to an audiobook my leader had recommended about studying the Bible, though I spent most of the walk asking God what I needed to surrender and what that would look like in my life.

He answered me, and I was in complete awe of the things He brought to the surface. The one thing I had to give up was the feeling that I needed to find a job. My heart was putting “not having a job” above spending time with Him and growing my relationship with Him. He told me, in a loving way, “Justin, I see your desire for a job — to provide and to save. That’s impressive and honorable. But I want you to rely on Me to provide for you, not on yourself or other people. That will fail. I have something amazing planned for you. During this season, I need you to let Me work and provide what you need.”

That broke me. I felt like a fraud at first, because I claim to be a devoted Christian, yet I wasn’t trusting God the way I claimed to. I was reminded that I’ll never be perfect, and that as I walk and grow in my relationship with God, there will always be something I’m working on. That work won’t be finished until the day He calls us home to the new heaven and new earth.

Getting back to it — I was ready to meet with the director and find out what the rest of my summer would look like. Sitting down with him, I was a little nervous because he’d brought his laptop. In my mind, I thought it was to book me a flight home. But I still had peace, because I knew whatever was about to happen was going to be blessed by God. All the stress turned out to be unnecessary — he was showing me a spreadsheet outlining a plan he’d put together with the other leaders and directors.

The plan was a list of contacts to reach if I had another medical emergency after the non-student directors left camp, along with a list of family members in case something happened. The director assured me that as long as I was vocal and didn’t hide it when something was wrong, I’d be allowed to stay for the full duration of the mission trip. We shook hands and continued our day.

After the meeting, I grabbed my headphones and made my way toward town to get a signal so I could call home and share the good news that I was staying to finish the mission trip in its entirety. It reminded me that God sees our hearts and wants to give us the things we desire — but we first need to trust Him and put Him first so He can trust us with those things.

Once everyone back home knew I was staying, I went to start rebuilding relationships with my friends at camp. It was a beautiful day, and some people were out in the middle of the field playing spikeball. I decided to try it and really enjoyed it — I’m looking forward to playing with my friends back home too. I played for over an hour before a few of us got hungry and wanted lunch.

I went into the family room and made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, along with some yogurt-covered pretzels. For the first time in a few weeks, I felt at peace and wanted to stay at camp with my friends as long as I could. I love hanging out in the family room, where we end up going on random adventures just because we have the time to explore — like the time we drove up the mountain to Emerald Bay, which had stunning views overlooking Lake Tahoe.

Emerald Bay is one of my fondest memories from the mission trip. When we finally found a spot to pull over and soak up the view, it was short-lived — after one photo, a police officer asked us to move the car because it was parked on the wrong side of the road. We laughed about it the whole way back to camp.

After Emerald Bay, I went and laid down to let my chair charge a bit, since I knew I’d need it later for teaching night. I got some rest, then grabbed my iPad and wrote this blog instead of sleeping. Sitting at a picnic table writing out in nature was one of the most therapeutic things I’ve ever experienced. I wrote until my roommates got back, which was my cue to start getting ready for dinner. Dinner was enjoyable — instead of teaching night, we stayed at camp for an exercise we’d normally do on Friday, adjusted slightly since it was handover week.

For the exercise, we were divided into different “countries,” and each country had three glasses of water to fill. To fill them, you had to correctly complete tasks assigned by the leader. You could switch countries, but you’d pay a penalty depending on which one you moved to.

It was eye-opening, because it highlighted the struggles people face communicating when they’re called to missions around the world. When entering a new country, you face several hurdles. First, you have to learn how to communicate for day-to-day things like shopping. Next, you have to learn the traditions and cultural norms so you can respect and support the people you’re serving with. Lastly, it helps to study their history to understand the culture.

When you’re moving to a new country for an extended stay, learning to communicate might take the longest, but I’d argue it’s the most important step. If you enter someone’s home country already knowing their language, you’ll not only earn their respect but show them love — because you cared enough to learn about them before trying to join their community.

Going a step further and learning the culture helps even more, because you’ll be able to participate respectfully and avoid breaking rules out of ignorance. You’ll also start to notice hand gestures and body language within the community. For example, a thumbs-up is a symbol of approval here in America, but in some countries, it’s a symbol of disrespect. Knowing these things really helps when we’re called to travel the world and love people.

Lastly, knowing the history of the country you’re traveling to helps build rapport and respect. Some countries have a strained relationship with the United States because of historical events. Knowing that going in lets you approach your introduction differently — showing people you’re there for them, to reflect the love of Christ, not just as an American.

I’d argue these principles are quite biblical, and they reflect the way Christ came to share the gospel with us. Jesus didn’t come to earth as a fully grown man and immediately start changing the rules and how we see things. He came to earth the same way we did and grew up like we do. He chose to walk the life of a human to save us, yes, but also to show us how to live. Having lived a human life, when He corrects us, He can honestly say He’s been through the same struggles we do.

Honestly, I need to reflect on the fact that Jesus was fully man, and truly bring my issues to Him and let Him guide me before going to those around me. He knows every aspect of my life and is therefore the best person to guide my steps and push me through whatever I’m facing. It’s such a powerful lesson, and yet I still find myself relearning it during this season of my life. I say this to encourage you: we serve a very patient God, and He’s willing to teach us the same lesson repeatedly until we get it. He looks at the heart and the motive behind our actions. If our heart chases Him, He’ll keep giving us opportunities to grow into the people He created us to be.

After this lesson, we all headed to our cabins to get ready to watch fireworks on the beach for the Fourth of July. It was fun watching over a hundred people hop on bikes and head to the beach. I’m a little slower than everyone else in my chair, so I left a bit earlier. As my friends passed me on their bikes, they’d ring their bells to show their excitement about seeing me at the beach — it felt good to feel like part of the group.

We crowded onto the beach as one big group, expecting a big fireworks show. Instead, the fireworks were on the other side of the lake and looked like tiny flowers in the sky. It wasn’t a complete bust, though — we got some good laughs cracking jokes, and we even took a big group picture. I headed back to camp early so I’d be there by the time my friends got back.

Once everyone was back, we gathered in the family room for snacks and a little worship night. I stayed for a couple of hours before heading to bed, since I was getting tired and overstimulated.

Week 4, Day 3

Because of the late night, devotional time was canceled and we got to sleep in. I took full advantage and slept until 10 to rest up for the next two days. Since I missed breakfast, I went to McDonald’s — and it happened to be the day they re-released the Snack Wrap, one of my brother’s and my favorite items growing up. My friends were confused by my excitement, but once I explained, they were happy for me.

After McDonald’s, I walked back to camp to help prepare for the day’s event, and I wanted to practice my cornhole skills for the tournament my friend and I had signed up for.

Cornhole is a game I love but rarely get to play — and honestly, I’m not great at it, given how far you have to throw the bean bag. Every time I play, it feels like time both flies by and slows down at once.

The whole day was bittersweet — we played games and enjoyed ourselves, but it was also the last full day with our current leaders and directors. We had the morning and afternoon free, since a few people had to work, but once the dinner bell rang, it was a night of fun and games for the whole camp.

After dinner, we all headed to the field for the cornhole tournament. It was one of those moments I didn’t want to end, because everyone was fully present and having a great time. My partner and I had fun — I don’t remember exactly how we placed, but it was a wonderful night. Since it was our last night with our leaders and some friends, we got a free evening to enjoy before our final goodbyes.

A big group of us went to see the F1 movie that night. I really enjoyed it, and I grew closer with the guys in my small group — so much so that they helped me fix my wheelchair afterward.

During the movie, I got up to use the bathroom, and when I returned, a screw in my chair’s armrest had come loose and the whole armrest fell to the floor. Since it was dark, my leader and I decided to wait until after the movie to look for the screw, so I sat through the rest of it without an armrest. The ending was inspiring and had all of us fired up.

Back at the car, my friends used the tools they had to help reattach my armrest. It reminded me of home, where my best friend would grab his toolbox out of his truck to fix something on my chair. In that moment, God was teaching me a lesson too — He was showing me that even when He calls me to do things, He doesn’t forget my physical limitations. He’ll provide everything I need to do whatever He’s called me to do. I don’t need to worry; I just have to trust and follow Him.

By the time we got back to camp, it was late and everyone was already asleep. We went to bed to prepare for the long beach day ahead.

Week 4, Day 4

Waking up for church was tough, though not as bad as the rest of the week since my group didn’t need to be there until 10 a.m. I grabbed my Bible and got in the car, ready to help set up for an event the church was hosting that day. I also couldn’t believe the trip was already halfway over.

At church, the message continued through the book of Luke, focusing on verses 58-80 of chapter one. It really opened my eyes and helped deepen my relationship with Jesus and God the Father.

The pastor began with a reminder that even though Jesus was fully human, He was — and is — the Son of God, and therefore also fully God. It’s something we as Christians already know, but we need reminders to really sit with the idea and let it sink in. In that moment, I was in awe, and it reinforced how much I need to focus on my relationship with God.

The message then compared the news delivered by the angel Gabriel to Zechariah and to Mary. The pastor pointed out that both asked related but very different questions, which brought about two very different responses from God.

Zechariah asked *if* it would happen, because — like us — he was looking at the physical world through logic. He knew the facts about being too old to have children, and like many of us, his default response leaned on his earthly knowledge. In that moment, he should have trusted what Gabriel was telling him, since it came from the God of the universe, whose understanding is far beyond our own.

While talking about Zechariah, the message reminded me of Isaiah 55:8-9, where God says His thoughts are far beyond anything we could imagine — which is why we must trust Him and follow His guidance. That’s easier said than done, but relying on and holding onto every word from God is the key to faith. If God gave us the whole plan up front, we wouldn’t depend on Him the way He wants, because we’d already see the entire path.

But when we choose to depend on His every word, we build a relationship with Him and start seeing things in a whole new light. Since this trip and the start of 2026, my faith and trust in God have grown exponentially. There are so many unknowns in my life right now, but I’m slowly becoming more content, because I know God has a plan for me and is building me up for it — which brings me to Mary’s response to Gabriel’s message.

Mary didn’t question the validity of the news; she wanted to know the *how*. She understood how babies were conceived, and since she and her fiancé weren’t yet married, she wanted the details. That’s why Gabriel answered her the way he did.

I hope the difference between the two responses — and why God responded to each the way He did — comes through clearly. One reflected a lack of trust in the plan laid out for him; the other, a willingness to participate in the plan. We go through both at different points in our walk with Christ on this side of Heaven, but the goal is to aim for Mary’s example — because through that, we grow in our relationship with Christ and develop into the people He created us to be.

After the message, we joined the church for lunch, since we had over an hour before heading back to camp for the rest of the beach day. It was nice getting to know the members of the church we were part of for the summer, and as a group we grew close to one of the assistant pastors. We ate and talked with them for an hour before heading back.

Back at camp, we had just enough time to change before heading to the beach, where everyone was already playing games. Once the whole group arrived, the festivities began with a game called watermelon football.

Watermelon football is a fun water game — if I were naming it, I’d call it watermelon rugby instead, since it plays more like rugby than American football. Two teams pass a watermelon back and forth, each trying to reach the other side’s “end zone.” It lasted a lot longer than anyone expected.

Traditionally, the game ends when the watermelon breaks apart, but ours never did — our leaders had bought more than expected — so we moved on to the next game before finally getting to eat all the watermelon.

After the games, it was time for dinner: Chipotle, which we genuinely enjoyed. We also took photos of each small group — I loved my group picture, which I shared in my first post and will include again below. After photos, we started an interesting challenge.

We were split into teams and given a box of supplies to build a raft that could hold one person seated in the center while another paddled from the edge. The first team to build their raft, send two people out to the center of the lake and back, would win and get to eat dinner first the following week.

It was a tough challenge. Our supplies were a blow-up pool donut, two pool noodles, duct tape, string, a bucket, and a stick. Our design centered on the pool donut as a seat, with the raft branching out on either side so the paddler could sit or hold on without sinking the whole thing. The tricky part was making it hold the weight of two people.

We came in second to last, but it was fun watching the different designs work — or not work. The challenge was full of laughs and good-natured ribbing, and it was one of the most enjoyable moments for me, because in that moment I wasn’t thinking about anything else. Time felt like it slowed down and flew by at the same time.

After the games, we sat on the beach for the handover ceremony — one of the most powerful things I’ve been part of in my entire life. We started by looking back at the amazing things we’d accomplished with God over the past three weeks, then found out who the new camp leaders would be, and finally closed with a foot-washing ceremony.

Looking back on the past three weeks was a great place to start, as a reminder of why we were there. One of the directors reminded us what it was like arriving at camp as complete strangers. From there, we shared testimonies and got to know each other’s strengths and weaknesses, building each other up in the process. He reminded us how many people we’d shared the gospel with, and how many had chosen to make Jesus their Lord and Savior. Then another director shared some vision for the rest of the trip after the current leaders left. Then came the ceremony itself, which felt like something far beyond us.

For the ceremony, we followed Jesus’s example in John 13, where He washes His disciples’ feet. Peter initially resists, but Jesus explains He’s setting an example of how we should lead and serve the church. So, following Jesus’s example, the outgoing directors washed the feet of the incoming directors and leaders, and then the new leaders washed the feet of us students. It was an immensely powerful moment.

If this were a movie, there would have been strings swelling in the background. No one said a word — we just stood there, soaking in the moment as our feet were washed on the beach. At the end, we all gathered and prayed over the remaining four weeks at Lake Tahoe. When the prayer ended and we opened our eyes, the outgoing leaders and directors were gone. It felt like a dream.

As it started getting dark, we broke into worship for a few minutes. I made my way back to my wheelchair and headed toward camp. Instead of calling home, I put on my worship playlist, not wanting to leave the presence of Jesus I felt in that moment. For the first time in a long while, it was just me and Him — and He showed me what it looks like to fully trust and rely on Him.

Back at camp, everyone was so energized that we ended up in the family room worshipping for hours. Knowing my group had to be up at 6:00 a.m., I decided to head to bed to rest up for the new week with new leaders. I was excited to see what they had in store.

Week 4, Day 5

As usual, we woke at 6 a.m. and headed to the picnic tables for devotional time and breakfast. The deeper we got into the book of John, the more layered the passages seemed to become. That morning we read John 8:12-47, and once again there were multiple lessons to pull from it — each reminding me how important it is to look to Jesus for guidance.

In the passage, Jesus is teaching and declaring His identity to the Jewish leaders, who, as usual, don’t believe Him and begin to rebuke Him for it. First, Jesus explains that He is the light of the world. Then He warns those who choose not to believe Him. Next, He makes the famous statement, “The truth will set you free,” and unpacks it. He closes His teaching with a question I felt every Christian should ask themselves from time to time. The whole passage sparked a great conversation within my group.

We started by breaking down Jesus’s revelation that He and God are one. My group and I discussed how we sometimes need the reminder that Jesus and the Father are united, yet distinct. Jesus is our path to the Father, but it’s the Father who guides our walk and whose will we’re striving toward. It’s important to have a relationship with Jesus, but at some point we also need to build toward what the Father is guiding us to. We pray and ask for guidance in Jesus’s name, but it matters that we remember who we’re ultimately asking.

We also discussed how, because of Jesus, we now have a relationship with God the Father and can relate to each part of the Trinity. We accept Jesus into our hearts, which gives us access to a relationship with the Father, and He sends the Holy Spirit to help us hear His response. It amazed me.

I’ve known and somewhat understood the idea of the Holy Spirit throughout my faith walk, but it finally clicked that the three are one in the sense that they each play a distinct role, yet their goal is one and the same: relationship with God the Father. It’s a confusing topic, but one we all come to know as true as our faith deepens. If you have questions, feel free to email me or comment below — I’ll do my best to answer.

After Jesus explained His close relationship with the Father, the Pharisees rebuked Him out of their own lack of understanding, which brought up a question in our group: how often do we dismiss a message from God simply because we don’t understand it? Like the Pharisees, we tend to filter messages from God through our own earthly knowledge. The difference is that we eventually come to accept it, because of our relationship with the Father. It may take time, but God keeps giving us the same message until we accept it — He’s a gracious God who gives us multiple chances to receive what He wants to tell us. This section of Scripture had me reflecting on the message He’d been giving me over the past few weeks.

That devotional made me realize the lessons God was teaching me weren’t new. He’d been trying to make Himself more of a priority in my life, but I’d been too busy stressing over or idolizing other things to fully pay attention to Him. Honestly, that realization didn’t feel great — I felt bad that it took God dragging me away from home to get my full and undivided attention. It felt like I’d been neglecting the most important relationship in my life while thinking I was giving it my all.

Knowing I needed to refocus, I told my group that morning I was going to spend some time alone developing a plan to deepen my walk with the Lord. Since we were running low on time, we moved on to the final section of Scripture for the day.

In the final ten verses, Jesus explains that the only way to have a relationship with God is through Him — He is the way, the truth, and the life. It’s something we’ve all accepted, but the Pharisees saw it as blasphemy, because they measured Jesus against their own expectations rather than trusting what they were seeing and hearing from Him directly. They assumed He’d be someone like them — someone who followed all the traditions and looked to be served, like a king — instead of the humble man He actually was. At the end of His message, Jesus posed a question I believe is still relevant today.

He asked the crowd, in essence: are you going to keep following the ways of the world, or are you going to follow Jesus and accept what He has for you? I’d argue that’s a question we as Christians should be asking ourselves daily. Every morning, we choose between seeking the Father’s plan for us or going our own way and disregarding it. You might think the obvious answer is to seek the Father — and I’d agree — but how often do we actually do that in daily life? For me, weeks would go by without picking up my Bible to explore what He has planned for me. My excuse was always being busy with work or serving at church, which is one of the big lessons God has been teaching me.

God is showing me that my number one priority needs to be my relationship with Him, because He’ll provide everything I need. I need to start spending daily time in His presence back home the way I did at Lake Tahoe. The more time I spent with Him, the less stressed I became and the fewer things bothered me, because I knew He had it covered. The more I consulted the Father, the less I had to worry about, knowing He’d give me an answer. Overall, this portion of Scripture carried three smaller messages within one overarching one.

After devotionals, I took a walk into town to reflect on what my relationship with God looked like and to make a list of changes I wanted to make to get closer to Him. First, I need to start praying when things come up instead of calling people for advice. Second, I need to get comfortable being alone. Third, I need to keep journaling to process things on my own, since there are some things I need to keep between God and me. These might sound like small things, but they’re hard for someone like me, since I tend to just say whatever’s on my mind without much thought. They’re difficult changes to make, but I’m starting to see some fruit from the effort.

Back from my walk, I had lunch in the family room with friends who were on break or getting ready for work. After they left, I got my iPad and did some writing on the lawn — one of the most relaxing things I’ve ever done. Hearing nature and looking at the mountains felt like being in a movie, because I never imagined I’d be in the mountains, sharing the gospel, and writing about it for people to read online.

A couple of hours later, I took a 45-minute nap before dinner, knowing we had life groups that night and wanting the energy to make it through.

We had our usual dinner and broke into life groups quickly. My group met at the ice cream parlor down the road from camp. Since it was our first meeting without our previous leader, it looked a little different, as our new leader wanted to lay out what the group would look like moving forward. But before I get to that, I need to back up and share something from before our leader left — something I forgot to mention in my last post.

Events of Week 3

Throughout the week, we had one-on-one discipleship meetings with our life group leader to discuss how we were doing, what we were enjoying, what we were struggling with, and to hear input on how we could grow.

During our last meeting, our leaders gave us a spiritual assessment covering our strengths, areas to improve, and ministry roles that might fit our personalities. Mine lined up closely with things I’d already been learning about myself through devotions and quiet time with God — I was in a season of learning about myself and growing closer to Him.

One thing my leader asked me to work on is listening to others without always feeling the need to offer input. Some of you reading this might not fully understand, since you don’t know me on a personal level — but when I’m listening to people share their struggles, I tend to feel the need to offer wisdom or advice to prove I have something worthwhile to say. This feedback from my leader, and from my best friend, helped me realize I don’t have anything to prove to anyone. God loves and accepts me exactly as I am, and that’s what should matter most. I don’t need to impress people, because people didn’t create me — God did.

God knows how stubborn I can be, which is why throughout the summer He kept reminding me that my relationship with Him needs to be the most important one in my life. He — not my friends and family — is the one who provides everything I need. All the satisfaction I was chasing was meant to come from Him, not from anything on earth. After going through my weaknesses, my leader shared the gifts he saw in me.

He said one of my strengths is my faith — that I never give up and tend to be very independent. He also admired that I don’t let much bother me and just play the cards I’m dealt. At that point, he and the director both told me how surprised they were that I’d made it to week four of the trip. I was honored by their honesty, but I also struggled with the comment. It reminded me that not many people encounter someone like me — let alone someone with a disability — on a mission trip like this.

Realizing that not everyone encounters someone with a disability who approaches life the way I do really impacted me. It made me appreciate how incredible my own testimony is. Because what some might call my “low moment” happened at birth, I’ve known Christ has been with me my entire life. He’s allowed me to live and experience things many people with disabilities never get to, or never have the chance to pursue. God has blessed me with a life full of adventure and has grown me into the man I am today — and through this trip, He brought me to Tahoe to grow even more. I walked away from that meeting feeling blessed, and confident in the man He was developing me into.

Week 4, Day 5 (continued)

At the ice cream parlor, we went around the table sharing our assessment results with each other. I’m glad we did — it brought our group closer together and made us more aware of each other’s weaknesses, so we could support one another and lean into each other’s strengths. I felt my group grow closer that night as we opened up about vulnerable things God had been revealing to each of us.

Leaving group that night, I felt a weight lift off my shoulders — onto God, and onto my new brothers in Christ. I also realized I needed to make God and brotherhood more of a priority in my life. I need to study the Bible daily and actively know what it says, to combat the lies the enemy has been feeding me for so long. For the first time in my walk with Christ, I wanted Him more than anything else in the world, and that feeling only grew stronger as I reflected on everything my group and I had talked about that night.

Back at camp, I just wanted to lie in bed and pray. I remember asking Jesus to help me build more discipline and make Him more of a priority. I sensed Him telling me that for the rest of the trip, He just needed me to focus on Him and what He was trying to teach me — and that, for reasons I’ll explain in a future post, not having a job right now is actually a blessing. After praying, I fell asleep, eager for the next day in Lake Tahoe.

Week 4, Day 6

Because people were up so late the night before, we got to sleep in until 9 o’clock. For devotionals, we continued through the book of John, reading John 8:48–9:12. This passage covers spiritual blindness, which turned out to be an important part of both our mission at Lake Tahoe and my own walk.

In John 8:48-59, Jesus continues His conversation with the Jewish people around Him. The Jewish leaders claim He’s a Samaritan possessed by demons. Jesus denies this, explaining He cannot be demon-possessed because He honors the Father’s will, and that the group is dishonoring God by rejecting Him. As usual, the people don’t fully grasp His message. This portion sparked an interesting conversation in my group.

We started by judging the Jewish people for not simply taking Jesus at His word — then stepped into their shoes for a moment, and the conversation shifted in a powerful way. We recognized they didn’t have the Scriptures available the way we do today. Many couldn’t even read, and had to trust religious leaders’ interpretation of the Scriptures rather than researching things for themselves. Given what they had available, it’s fair to ask whether we’d have believed Jesus in that moment either. It made me reflect on my own walk with God.

I began to think about how often God answers a prayer of mine, and I choose not to acknowledge it because I don’t fully understand it or have all the information. That led to real self-reflection. I tell everyone I trust Jesus with every area of my life, but how true is that really? As I reflected, I realized I wasn’t surrendering all areas of my life to Him — I tend to go to close friends and family before I go to Jesus. I was glad that night was reflection night, because I’d get the chance to be alone with God, repent, and ask Him how to correct this so He could become the first person I turn to.

Next we read John 9:1-12, where Jesus heals a man who had been blind his entire life. When the leaders find out Jesus healed him on the Sabbath, they’re upset. For those who may not know what the Sabbath is or why this matters, let me break it down briefly.

In Genesis, God creates the world in six days and rests on the seventh — an example for us to work and rest. God didn’t actually need rest, since He’s the Almighty, but this part of Scripture shows how we’re meant to live: working and resting at least one day a week. It’s later given to the people as a covenant in the book of Exodus. The Sabbath was meant to be a day of complete rest, with no work at all — in fact, you weren’t even allowed to light a lamp. So Jesus’s healing on the Sabbath turned heads.

As Jesus was telling His disciples that He is the light of the world, they came across a man who’d been blind since birth. Jesus put mud on the man’s eyes and told him to rinse them off in the pool. The man obeyed, his sight was restored, and he began to see. I had two thoughts on this section.

My first thought is that it’s interesting how John moves from a conversation between Jesus and the Pharisees straight into the healing of the blind man. (Before I go further, I want to clarify that I’m not a theology major, so please don’t take my thoughts here as biblical or historical fact — these are just reflections that came to me while reading.) It could be read as a comparison: the Pharisees, viewed as spiritually blind, contrasted with the blind man who meets Jesus and receives sight. Before we know and accept Jesus into our hearts, we’re blind to the spiritual realm; afterward, we slowly begin to see the spiritual realities that shape our lives each day, and our decisions start to reflect that.

Second is the obedience of the blind man — something we should all strive for in our walk with Christ. Jesus gave him a command, and without question, he obeyed and was blessed for it. It made me think about what God might be commanding me to do in this season that I’m avoiding, either because I think I know better or because I’m being stubborn. As it got late, we were dismissed, and I decided to reflect on that question during that evening’s reflection time.

After devotionals, I grabbed my laundry basket and headed to the laundromat. If I wanted to get the most out of reflection night, I needed my chores done first so I’d have no distractions.

On the way, I called my best friend to talk through some of the revelations I’d been having. It was one of the deepest conversations we’d had in a long time — as I explained what the Lord had been teaching me, he confirmed it and shared that God had been showing him some of the same things. It felt, in that moment, like the Lord was on the phone with us. Growing in faith gave me a peace I hadn’t felt in a long time.

At the laundromat, I put my clothes in the wash and meditated on what I’d been learning. I was starting to feel like my own person, developing independence and a real desire for time alone with the Lord. Instead of calling home to ask about my laundry, I chose to meditate on Scripture and ask the Lord what He wanted me to focus on for the rest of the trip.

The more I read and prayed, the more the idea of Sabbath — and of being alone with God — kept surfacing. Being fully dependent on the Lord was something I desired but had resisted for a long time. I was learning that my flesh craved control, which reminded me of Paul’s writing about the battle between flesh and spirit. It gave me joy to recognize this, because it meant my spirit was growing, I was maturing into my own person, and my faith was becoming truly my own.

That morning’s devotional gave me a lot to reflect on. First, I need to make prayer my first response to things, because the Lord gives the best answers. Second, I don’t need to share everything with my close friends and mentors. Third, my relationship with the Lord needs to be my top daily priority. These are all baby steps toward becoming the man the Lord wants me to be.

The Lord used this trip to show me that friends were not the rock in my life I’d made them out to be. When things happened that I didn’t understand, I tended to seek counsel and validation from friends instead of praying and asking God to help me work through it. Some of you might not see the problem with that, so let me explain what I was learning.

All my life, when I’ve had an issue, I tend to talk it through repeatedly with the people closest to me and take their advice on how to handle it. Most of you might see nothing wrong with “seeking counsel” — but as a believer, I shouldn’t be bringing my problems to people before I bring them to God. He wants to hear from us when we’re struggling. The Bible speaks to this, in a way, in Matthew chapter 11.

In Matthew 11, Jesus is speaking to a struggling crowd. They were looking to the world for solutions, but Jesus offers a different one in verse twenty-eight, essentially saying: give Me your worries and burdens, and I will give you rest. Not everyone He was speaking to believed He’d actually give them peace, but this passage fed directly into the lesson God was teaching me on this trip. It also showed me that whatever I bring to God, I don’t have to share with my close friends — some things can stay between me and Him.

Realizing that made me appreciate the importance of keeping a journal. I’m someone who needs to let things out to really let them go, and journaling will be my outlet. After talking things through with God, I can write it down to fully release it to Him and reflect on whether there’s anything I can do differently going forward. This was powerful for me — I actually started to tear up, because it felt like a weight was lifting off my shoulders.

After reflection night, I spent time with one of my roommates, who was building his own guitar. I found it fascinating — he started with a stick he found in the woods and was slowly turning it into an instrument. That evening, he was just sanding it down so he could work with it without getting splinters. After a few hours, I went to bed.

Week 4, Day 7

We read a substantial portion of Scripture that morning — John 9:13-42 — covering the Pharisees’ investigation into Jesus healing the blind man on the Sabbath. First the man is brought before them, then his parents are questioned, then the man is questioned again. I learned that while we’re meant to listen to those God has placed in authority, we ultimately need to listen and obey what God Himself has called us to do. Several things stood out to me in this passage, but one in particular hit home.

There’s a section where Jesus emphasizes serving people’s needs over following protocols, ceremonies, or religious rituals — proof that God cares more about our relationship with Him than about how much ritual or service we perform. That hit me hard.

Jesus didn’t forget it was the Sabbath, but He saw a need He could meet. He healed the man and changed his life, and in turn, the man believed and was able to worship. It made me realize God cares more about people than rituals — and, by extension, more about my relationship with and worship of Him than about my service at church.

I realized that even though I was serving the church, attending Bible studies, and pointing people to Christ, I wasn’t actually building my relationship with Him so He could grow in me and work through me. I was so focused on performing tasks for God that I wasn’t spending real time with Him to strengthen that relationship. This confirmed what I’d already been learning during reflection night. Now I needed to put it into action.

After morning devotions, I cleaned up and went for a walk to bring these lessons to the Lord and ask Him how to build more of Him into my daily life. It was one of the most powerful walks with God I’ve ever had.

God showed me a lot about myself on that walk. First, that He’s helping me become my own person. Second, that He wants me to help lead a small group for young adults at my church. Third, that He wants me to find a small group of older believers who can help feed me spiritually. All of it was meant to help me grow and better serve His kingdom.

After the walk, I got some chores done since a group of us wanted to catch a movie that night. So after dinner, we went to the movies, came home, and went to bed — ready for another week.